Evolving... The process

    My process of evolving and growing as an individual has been life changing. I know it sounds redundant but allow me to explain. I could see and feel it as it happened every step of the way. It felt like I stepped outside of myself and I was looking myself in the eyes.

Training myself to move at a gentle pace that is soothing for my soul instead of constantly moving at light speed was a challenge for me. It's what I was accustomed to. It takes a while to undo what became my normal way of life over the past 20 years. Although I am living in the present, looking at my future, I purposely reference my past so "then and now" can be seen. I do not live in the past. As a matter of fact, typing on my blog is probably the only time it is referenced. I believe this is healthy in moving forward in life.

First, I began moving slowly, observing myself. I was told that the total time that I was married should be cut in half and that is the amount of time that it will take to heal. Another 10 years? I decided to cut that in half and then cut it in half again. Two and a half years...I'm here.

This may not work for everyone but it works for me and this is in no particular order...

1. move slowly
2. pray
3. listen to others speak... it has helped me remain consistent in choosing my surrounding circle.
4. surrounding myself with positive people and positive energy
5. laugh
6. at times, being quiet and BE STILL
7. "Lather" day & night aromatherapy balm - keeps me at ease all day
8. candles
9. turning the cell phone off - learning to enjoy being alone
10. reading meaningful literature and books
11. I taught myself that loneliness was ok instead of allowing it to consume me. Embrace it and figure out JUST WHO YOU ARE.
12. meditate
13. basketball...attend games and watch on television
14. friends...found new ones
15. the beach
16. crying tears of joy instead of holding them in... it's healthy for me
17. became MORE humble
18. became MORE compassionate
19. became MORE helpful
20. attend church
21. allowed my gratitude for life to overflow and be seen which enhanced my blessings
22. blocked and deleted some people so I am unable to call or hear from them...it works both ways
23. I stopped blaming people and took responsibility for my own actions
24. I have truly learned my self worth. THIS SHOULD BE NUMBER 1
25. watched my tone, attitude and speech when talking to my children and others
26. fasting
27. juicing
28. learned to forgive freely
29. I am still working on removing profanity from my vocabulary
30. I learned to speak up
31. became more encouraging
32. exercise
33. I reminded myself everyday that LOVE DOES EXIST

This is all that I am able to remember at the moment but nonetheless, it takes what it takes and you must go through it to get through it. Compose your own list and pay it forward. You never know in what way you are helping someone else. I realize that life is about living fully whether in or out of love.

SELF LOVE is what is important and I note this with all humility.