ComfyCozy Boutique

Two years have passed and LIFE IS STILL BEYOND MIRACULOUS! It feels so good that it's almost scary. My girls, well ladies are wonderful. Kobi is graduating from college this year and Kelli is interested in modeling and acting.

This year is fabulous with the exception of the passing of Kobe & Gigi Bryant 1.26.20 (as well as the seven passengers that were traveling with them) my world has been a bed of the most colorful and beautiful orchids, flowers and roses of love.

Simply grateful for all. Still shooting my bow. I opened an online boutique called
ComfyCozy Boutique! (https://ComfyCozyBoutique.com/). It has been an amazing experience and journey. It was all self encouragement. It all began on Melrose. I walked into a boutique, bought a jumpsuit and loved it so much that I decided to leave it on and wear it for the day!(w

I received SO MANY COMPLIMENTS that I not only continued to walk the streets that I was on, I decided to get into my car and drive to other heavily populated areas to see just how many compliments I could receive. In each area that I drove to, I increased the number of compliments that I planned to receive. I literally drove from Melrose to Malibu, to Newport Beach to the Inland Empire. God's Grace was upon me and I was determined to make it happen. The Law of Attraction was working and I am a FIRM BELIEVER of it! When I reached Victoria Garden's Shopping Mall, I said, if I receive twenty compliments, I'm starting my own boutique! And that was it! Many years ago my older sister Nikki would refer to my ability to stay "focused and stop at nothing attitude" as a tangent. She would literally say, Krish is on tangent!

Tangent:
noun. A completely different line of thought or action. a line or plane touching but not intersecting.

Indeed that is me. A straight shooter! Today, I certainly feel that it is a form of Mamba Mentality. I worked 8am-5pm, finished my shift, went home, showered, prepeared for work the following day and began to work on my boutique most nights until about 2 or 3am. I slept for a few hours before my alarm would sound and notify me that it was time to wake up for work. Once I locked in on the name of my boutique, (which I brainstormed with couple of people until it felt good to my spirit). I used my lunch one day to file my business license and lunch the following day to file my seller's permit. When I had those in hand, I created my logo and business cards. I put my jumpsuit back on went back to the areas in which I received the compliments and said, I'm not coming back home until I have passed out all 50 of the business cards in my purse!

Although I had no inventory, when stopped I remember thinking every person was my client! I would simply say that my website was under construction, and offer my business card and the phone calls began. Once that happened I was confident that I could sell and I AM MY BEST ADVERTISEMENT! One of the best things that I've done thus far is simply PAY IT FORWARD to one of my customers who was interested in starting her own online boutique but also whom I had never met. She stated that she was so impressed with my level of customer service that she had to reach out to me. I am thankful that she did. I gave her step by step intructions on how it worked for me. She was able to utilize the information in conjunction with her own knowledge and open her boutique which I had no problem patronizing.When she became discouraged, she called me and I pushed her right along reiterating that the beauty of it all is that IT BELONGS TO YOU! Breathe easy and take it all in stride. It took me about 2 weeks to get everythig together. Business cards, garmet tags, garmet labels, packaging, package labels, website, logo, inventory, business phone line, social media accounts, advertisement, you name it. I was on it! Day in and day out! It was my pleasure to create something for myself. Something that I love. Something that makes me happy. I do exactly what I want. I hand write every thank you card, sign it and enclose a tea bag simply because I love it.

Happy New Year!!!

           

Happy New Year!!!


 I haven't written in 16 months. (I will do much better in 2018). Reason being, LIFE. Life happens, we step back, regroup and resurface with a new found sense of who we are and the direction in which we would like to travel. My grandfather transitioned into heaven as well as a very close cousin and that gave me something to think about.

Although I miss them dearly every single day, MY LIFE IS STILL GOOD. GREAT ACTUALLY! Still moving on my own terms peaceful and happy, I shed a couple of people from my circle whom I felt were weighing me down and took some time to cleanse my life. Not in a negative sense but more so removing "lingering people." You know how some tend to hang around, talking about the same thing when they call, no growth, wasting your time. Yes, those people. The moment I willingly embraced the process, doors opened and I met a couple of WONDERFUL people who have been beneficial to my life and more importantly, I have been a blessing to their lives. I feel growth and love exuding. I feel the Holy Spirit within me and I see my life moving forward in a direction conducive to the lifestyle that I am currently living as well as the future that I envision for myself.

I've always enjoyed archery but never bought myself a bow or took lessons. A very good friend of mine reintroduced me to the sport. This time around, I own my bow and I take lessons. Being that I'm a loner, this has become a favorite pastime. It also helps that my instructor is handsome which makes for great eye candy :-)


So much to say after being gone for so long but I will make time to get caught up. My girls are fabulous! I'm happy! And I'm humbled by this life with a focus on becoming the BEST  GODLY WOMAN I can be.

Forever a work in progress.

My Stride

          What a great feeling it is to be whole again. I have surrounded myself with a small group of great friends that have my best interest at heart. My girls are happy... Kobi is now in college on the East Coast creating a life that she has longed to live and Kelli, a sophomore enjoys school and the perks of feeling like an only child.

It's amazing the way life pulls you. I went from having no time for myself while caring for everyone else to having a plethora of time with hardly a thing to do some days. I am more familiar with myself and I know what I like. Simple things make me happy. Now I set daily goals for myself, nothing too strenuous and it's not everyday. My list must be complete and I hold myself accountable which I like. Yesterday after work, it was... make dinner & eat, wash my hair, workout, read, write in my journal, pray, tidy up the girls room (since they are away), relax, watch football and get to bed at a decent hour.

It was enough for me. My heart was calm, I didn't feel pressured and my tasks were complete. I have learned over the last two years and I literally live by this...If it doesn't feel good in my heart or my spirit then I will not do it. No need to contemplate at all, I simply forget about it or revisit it at a later time. Life is much easier this way. Living life on my terms.

Find your tempo if you haven't already. A glide in your footsteps that God has created just for you. It becomes a peaceful stride.

Evolving... The process

    My process of evolving and growing as an individual has been life changing. I know it sounds redundant but allow me to explain. I could see and feel it as it happened every step of the way. It felt like I stepped outside of myself and I was looking myself in the eyes.

Training myself to move at a gentle pace that is soothing for my soul instead of constantly moving at light speed was a challenge for me. It's what I was accustomed to. It takes a while to undo what became my normal way of life over the past 20 years. Although I am living in the present, looking at my future, I purposely reference my past so "then and now" can be seen. I do not live in the past. As a matter of fact, typing on my blog is probably the only time it is referenced. I believe this is healthy in moving forward in life.

First, I began moving slowly, observing myself. I was told that the total time that I was married should be cut in half and that is the amount of time that it will take to heal. Another 10 years? I decided to cut that in half and then cut it in half again. Two and a half years...I'm here.

This may not work for everyone but it works for me and this is in no particular order...

1. move slowly
2. pray
3. listen to others speak... it has helped me remain consistent in choosing my surrounding circle.
4. surrounding myself with positive people and positive energy
5. laugh
6. at times, being quiet and BE STILL
7. "Lather" day & night aromatherapy balm - keeps me at ease all day
8. candles
9. turning the cell phone off - learning to enjoy being alone
10. reading meaningful literature and books
11. I taught myself that loneliness was ok instead of allowing it to consume me. Embrace it and figure out JUST WHO YOU ARE.
12. meditate
13. basketball...attend games and watch on television
14. friends...found new ones
15. the beach
16. crying tears of joy instead of holding them in... it's healthy for me
17. became MORE humble
18. became MORE compassionate
19. became MORE helpful
20. attend church
21. allowed my gratitude for life to overflow and be seen which enhanced my blessings
22. blocked and deleted some people so I am unable to call or hear from them...it works both ways
23. I stopped blaming people and took responsibility for my own actions
24. I have truly learned my self worth. THIS SHOULD BE NUMBER 1
25. watched my tone, attitude and speech when talking to my children and others
26. fasting
27. juicing
28. learned to forgive freely
29. I am still working on removing profanity from my vocabulary
30. I learned to speak up
31. became more encouraging
32. exercise
33. I reminded myself everyday that LOVE DOES EXIST

This is all that I am able to remember at the moment but nonetheless, it takes what it takes and you must go through it to get through it. Compose your own list and pay it forward. You never know in what way you are helping someone else. I realize that life is about living fully whether in or out of love.

SELF LOVE is what is important and I note this with all humility.

It Feels Good To Be Back...

    
        After being away from my blog for nearly one year to the day, I decided to get back to it! So many things have happened in a years time. When I left last, I spoke about life After My Move. Protecting my children, my appreciation for animals, life, nature. I spoke about loneliness and peace of mind... Oh it feels so good to be back, smiling as I type this.

Since my last post, a lot has happened BUT...LIFE IS STILL GOOD. I have met a few new friends which in the past I forbid myself from doing. I opened myself to more people and great opportunities for myself and my children. I began taking care of my grandfather and I also lost my grandfather on my birthday...LIFE IS STILL GOOD. My oldest daughter graduated high school and she's heading to college in the BIG APPLE...NYC. My youngest daughter made it on the cheer squad at school and she loves it! For the first time in over two years since our move, we have been able to take a vacation. Kobi visited Peru and Kelli and I visited Cabo San Lucas. We have been blessed beyond measure.

Everything good is happening. I rid myself of negative energy, thoughts, people and situations. Entertaining people that I no longer have much in common with or really people who I cannot hold  conversations with no longer have a place in my life and that's ok. I'm not insinuating that I am better than anyone, I am saying that it no longer works for my life. I must be fed mentally enabling growth. My outlook has evolved and I have grown as a woman, mother, sister, aunt and friend. On my worst day, it is still a great day and I choose that. I choose happiness, I choose to smile everyday, I choose kindness and compassion. I choose honesty. I choose to encourage others in an effort to make it a world reality. I am more humble now than I have ever been in my life.

Life Is Good!

After My Move

 After my move, I became even more protective over my children and myself. My girls couldn't understand why I was so protective. It was because from this point forward, I no longer had a second pair of eyes to help me with them. It was extremely important that I set the tone for the way that our new home would run. Months after, they understood my reasoning.

I found myself trying to figure out how to recreate my life. Learning myself over again. Moving slowly, and actually taking the time to notice things. The very first thing that I took an interest in was the hummingbird. Never a lover of birds, I thought that they were beautiful! It seemed as though one would visit my office window everyday! So much to the point that I began looking for it and when I saw it, I would smile. The next thing that caught my attention was listening to birds chirping and singing throughout the day. The sound was soothing to me where prior to my move, things were chaotic and I couldn't hear a thing.  I began teaching myself how to appreciate nature and things that money could not buy. Thus giving me a new appreciation for my own life and life in general.

I've never been a big lover of plants. I found myself taking care of one plant, observing the leaves and watching it come to life as I cared for it. I looked at people in a different way because my daily outlook was now permanently altered based on a decision that I made. It made me gentle to what others may be experiencing. Companionship was gone but life was/is still good. I'm lonelier than I've ever been in my life but I have THE MOST peace of mind than I've ever had in my life and peace of mind is priceless. I was talking to a friend of mine in 2006 and I will never forget the words that were spoken. He said "It's ok to step your lifestyle down to secure your happiness" and he was correct. Ok, so I'm not in a two story four bedroom home with a pool, movie theatre and all of the creature comforts that I am accustomed to. I'm in a condo, I have my faith, grace, mercy, children, love, freedom and peace of mind.

I'm happy!

He & I

As the years went on, I felt  myself becoming resentful and pulling away from my husband. It was hard for me and I know it had to be hard for him as well. Being the head of your household, always having control of your family and all of a sudden you slowly feel it slipping from your grasp. as time went on we became more involved in our own lives instead of a life as one. It was a Sunday evening that we were home together still trying to function as a family through it all, when our precious grandmother was called home. God blessed us all and we were literally right there with her.

As expected, we had an outpour of love, support and affection from family, friends, extended family, church members, etc., but we still couldn't quite pull it together although we would still protect each other with every fiber of our being. The homegoing services for grandma were lovely and I was there as I should have been, picking out her clothes & accessories, nail polish, perfume, etc. Our love and commitment to her was beyond belief but for me it was my love for him that would allow me to continue to give selflessly until she was completely laid to rest.

Our life was different without her there. The void was very loud. We missed her so much. So much  that I became a certified Ombudsman volunteering to monitor seven elderly care facilities, reporting elderly abuse in the Inland Empire. I felt if I could help one more person or multiple people, then my heart would be fulfilled. I eventually found a full time job and had to force myself to move on. It was a great start personally but the marriage still needed help and guidance that it didn't seem like it was going to get. We were functioning everyday separately and co parenting very well. The one lane that we ALWAYS manage to see eye to eye was and still is our children. A true blessing. We talked and talked until we were blue in the face trying to figure it out and I realized that this may have had nothing at all to do with him, but everything to do with me. After my mother was called home in June 2013, I could no longer try and try. It was a reality check to me that this life is very short and if I was lucky enough to live as long as my mother did, then I only have another nineteen years of life left and I need to move forward with whatever God had in store for me. I let my husband know exactly how I felt, we discussed our feelings and I began packing to move out of the only home that our family knew. No hate nor malicious intent involved. All love with no hard feelings from me. I had no idea how it was all going to work out but for the first time in my life, I had to step out on faith and I did just that. It was time to move my feet.